BY KRISHAN PATEL
November 8th, 2016
“Wait, what? OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!” Donald Trump began hyperventilating.
“Sir, please calm down,” Kellyanne Conway’s ecstatic mood was dampened only slightly by her boss’ panic attack, and her smile was genuine for the first time in nearly a month. She had faced nearly impossible odds and gotten a man elected to the Presidency who was so childish that she had to take away his Twitter account, all while taking down her old enemies, the Clintons, in the process.
“I’m winning Wisconsin? This was not supposed to happen!” Trump yelled, spitting into the air.
“It’s surprising, to say the least.” Surprising was an understatement for what Mike Pence was feeling at the moment. Never in a million years did he believe a Republican ticket could win Pennsylvania, Michigan, or Wisconsin, but his was winning all three right before his very eyes. The VP nomination was supposed to be free publicity as a springboard for his 2020 campaign to defeat Hillary Clinton, but now he would content himself with pulling his boss’ strings.
“I wasn’t actually supposed to win. I have literally no idea what I’m doing! Trump TV was the end goal, remember?” Trump’s eyes were wide and wildly darting rapidly between his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and his daughter, Ivanka.
“Please relax, dad. It’s going to be okay. We’ll help you through everything together. Just calm down.” Ivanka was exuberant. The amount of influence she and Jared would soon wield was enormous, not to mention the benefits to their businesses that came with the Presidency. And with Republicans soon to be controlling the House of Representatives and the Senate, the inheritance tax would soon be eliminated, and hopefully would stay in place in time for her father’s death. No matter what, she know one thing would happen – she was about to gain the kind of power she used to only dream of.
Ivanka’s husband, Jared Kushner, chose to remain silent and eyed Chris Christie, who was standing alone on the other side of the room. Christie would be the first to go. He would soon avenge his father, whom Christie had put in prison. Kushner’s thoughts then shifted to Steven Bannon, who was pacing around behind the group like a shark. His anti-Semitism, combined with his incredibly loose grip on reality, made him dangerous. He knew Donald was planning to make Bannon Chief of Staff, but Kushner would not have it. He planned on intervening later and changing the appointment to somewhere along the lines of Chief Strategist, where he could smother Steven’s ideas effectively.
Reince Priebus was depressed. He was probably going to become Chief of Staff to a man he could not even pretend to have an ounce of control over, but he knew the position was going to be ceremonial at best anyways. He had never seen such open nepotism in American politics before, and he knew for a fact that his advice would be trampled by that of Trump’s family at every turn. On the bright side, the RNC donors were going to be very happy with him.
“Okay, I’m calm now,” Donald Trump said after breathing heavily for a while. “Do I have a victory speech to read?”
“Of course, Mr. Trump.” Kellyanne Conway most definitely did not have a victory speech prepared, and she doubted Hillary Clinton had her concession speech ready either. She texted one of her people to get on the speech right away. As she was texting, she received another text. It was from Donald Jr., who was only a few feet away from her.
“DOW Jones is crashing. Make sure the speech has the words “pro-growth” in it..” Kellyanne looked up from reading the text and saw Donald Jr. and Eric Trump staring at her expectantly. She nodded, then relayed the information to the speechwriter. He would have it done very soon.
Donald Trump walked on stage with a new confidence and sense of self-reassurance he did not have before. Hillary Clinton had just called and conceded to him, and he was convinced that everything would be fine after all. Trump believed his inner circle was looking out for him. He failed to entertain the possibility that the only people they were looking out for were themselves.
The President-Elect smiled, took the situation in, then at last began his victory speech to the roaring crowd of his adoring fans.