Ode to ChapStick: a poem

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Ode to ChapStick: a poem

Staff Writer

(Jim Gehrz/St. Paul Pioneer Press/TNS)

Oh ChapStick! My ChapStick!
My fearful swim is done,
My lips have weathered every wave,
The game I’ve finally won,
The end is near, the water I hear, the Trojans are all exulting,
Chlorine-stung eyes finally feel, the team is happy and daring;
But oh ChapStick! Oh ChapStick! Oh ChapStick!
Oh bleeding lips of red,
Where on the pool floor my chapstick lies,
Fallen wet and dead.

Oh chapstick! Exotic chapstick! Rise up and soothe my pain;
Rise up—for you my lips await—for you my heart is lain,
For you I’d give up boba and In-N-Out—yet you I hold in vain;
Here ChapStick! dear ChapStick!
This hand beneath your cap!
It is some dream that on the floor,
You’ve fallen wet and dead.

My chapstick does not answer, its body is smushed and damp,
My chapstick does not feel my loving arms, it has no pulse nor will,
The game is over safe and sound, my competition closed and done,
From fearful CDM the victor team comes in with prize won;
Exult O UNI, and crank O siren!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the floor my ChapStick lies,
Fallen wet and dead.

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