Humor: The Quarantine Diaries

Home COVID-19 Humor: The Quarantine Diaries

By KRISHNA KHAWANI
Staff Writer

Day 1: UHS has just shut down and the feeling buzzing around campus is like nothing ever experienced before. A mix of euphoria and fear makes its way through the students as rain begins to pour down, almost like a scene straight out of a movie. No one really knows what to expect out of the coming weeks. At least I don’t. School is now a thing of the past, the future is filled with lounging at home with all the time in the world. This is going to be a great 3 weeks!

Day 2: What a feeling it is to wake up without a care in the world, and without the fear of looming assignments or tests. It will surely take weeks before teachers are able to grasp a new method of teaching, so this feeling is not going to be fleeting. The news is filled with an increasing amount of school closures, bringing an onslaught of fellow students who are in the same situation as me. 

Day 3: This now marks my second day of waking up at 1:00 pm, but this is no matter, for I have the rest of the day to improve myself! I’ve seen countless posts filled with ideas from learning a new language, to reading extensive philosophies, the possibilities are endless! Quarantine is a blessing in disguise that will allow me to exit as the best possible version of myself.

Day 4: I woke up today 5 pounds heavier since all I did yesterday was eat while trying to convince myself to do something productive. But that’s not a problem, if I’m acting like this, surely everyone else is as well?

Day 5: Somehow my teachers have already gotten their bearings and are now dishing out assignments like this is an all-you-can-eat restaurant. All of a sudden the future of quarantine isn’t looking too great but at least we’re not using Zoom like the college students.

Day 5 update: Canvas just came out with a conference feature and all of a sudden my teachers who once didn’t know how to use the projector in their rooms are now technical geniuses.

Day 6: I took stock of what supplies are in the house and have made sure that all of the essentials are well kept in case of an emergency. Seeing all of the chaos at supermarkets and the danger that poses, I have decided to stay away for as long as possible and until I absolutely am required to in order to protect myself.

Day 6 + 45 min: I’m at Albertsons because I was bored at home and wanted a Snickers.

Day 7: My sleep schedule is slowly slipping, but somehow not in a way that technically hurts me. I still get 9 hours of sleep, but all of them are past 12am. I’ve been keeping my sanity by calling and talking to friends and that seems to help, but there’s just something that is missing. 

Day 12: The mixture of boredom, laziness, and unexplainable lethargy have rendered me absolutely useless for the past five days. It’s become hard to distinguish between boredom and hunger, but more often than not I end up eating something since it satisfies both of these needs. I also seem to have replaced any physical activity with eating, which certainly isn’t doing wonders for my health.

Day 16: Online school has definitely picked up pace, and for some reason each teacher seems to think that the others aren’t assigning homework. Compared to regular school, there is a feeling that the workload is excessively greater, yet this isn’t necessarily true. I’ve come to realize that most of our work was done in class, but when we’re surrounded by friends and that environment, it never felt like too much. Something about being at home, with no enforced schedule, is really doing a number on my motivation.

Day 38: It’s been a while since I’ve recorded my experience, but that is because not a whole lot has changed. Online school is still the same process, and being at home has become yet another monotonous adventure. I look back and laugh at the days when I preferred staying in the “comfort” of my bed and canceled on plans to go out. I guess the grass truly is always greener on the other side.

Day 157: Quarantine hasn’t gone as expected. It just keeps getting extended. Nevertheless, the positive to this is that I committed myself to a very specific task a while back. It has finally come to fruition, and now I am able to recite the entire Bee Movie Script from memory. Next, it’s time to find Waldo.

Day ???: I found this old journal of mine from the days when I felt hope about quarantine being ended. Well that’s not to say that it hasn’t, it was lifted a few months ago, but I have become so accustomed and attached to my home that I never really want to leave. I’m not the only one, it seems that essentially everyone in society has the same sentiment, for the streets remain barren, and the shops are now entirely online. I think I might step out and look at the sun today; it has been a while.

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