By DARRIUS ESTIGOY
Staff Writer
Your attention please.
“So, what’s the game?”
“Don’t fall.”
“That’s all?”
The airtrain will depart from Terminal Three in just a few moments.
“That’s it.”
“Easy.”
“You don’t know how to play.”
It will have one stop at Terminal Two.
“Tell me how to play.”
“Don’t touch anything.”
“Don’t touch anything?”
The train will proceed to Jamaica station.
“Not a thing. Don’t grab the pole, don’t put yourself up against the seat. Nothing.”
“Can I grab onto my luggage?”
“It has wheels on it, so I don’t think it would be very helpful.”
From there, you may transfer onto the Long Island Rail Road.
“Oh, right. Wheels move.”
“Stupid.”
“Hush. Wide stances are fine?”
Alternatively, you may also utilize the subway.
“Wide stances are fine.”
“And I can’t hold onto you?”
“What?”
Lines E, J, and Z are accessible from the lower levels.
“It’s a good tactic.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Okay.”
A separate metro card will be required to transfer onto the subway lines.
“Just don’t grab onto anything.”
“Including you?”
“Including me. Look, are you ready?”
Please do not open the in-car windows.
“Always ready.”
“Are you though?”
“Sometimes.”
Please keep clear of the sliding doors.
“Just don’t fall on me.”
“I don’t intend on falling.”
“You don’t intend on anything.”
The train will depart momentarily.
“Maybe not. But- OH, DAMN IT!”
“OW! YOU ASS!”
“I’M SORRY! How’s your head?”
Please secure your belongings.
“It’s fine, it didn’t hit the seat. I TOLD YOU NOT TO HOLD ONTO ME!”
“THE TRAIN JOLTED, I WASN’T READY!”
“Sorry, everyone. We swear we’re not drunk, we’re just tourists!”
Have a pleasant trip.