Out of Mind: prose

Out+of+Mind%3A+prose

October 27, 2014

By CATALINA FERNANDEZ
Staff Writer

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Illustrated by Vicki Chen
I woke up in an empty room. It was completely white, as if I were in a Hollywood dream sequence. I sat in a white and unusually comfortable chair. For some inexplicable reason, I did not feel quite like myself. It was as if my memories had been stolen; I could not fathom the thoughts and fascinations engraved into my mind. Guided by some mysterious force, I stood up and walked forth into the emptiness. I eventually stopped myself, closed my eyes and blinked twice. The silence was deafening. It all felt surreal, as if I were in some sort of independent-indie film. I even embraced the cliché and pinched my arm to see if I could wake up from whatever this was. Even after several pinches, my efforts remained unsuccessful. My next decision was to yell; I needed to be relieved of this intoxicating confusion. The degree of sanity I had managed to preserve until then began to seep from my mind. I was left speechless; unable to yell out what I so frantically desired: HELP.
Desperation clung to me and consumed my soul. Its piercing claws vanquished my sense of hope. Lost in a complex maze; I was trapped in this desolate land accompanied solely by fear. The warmth of the light that once reassured me was now corrupted by darkness. What awful act had I committed to receive this torture? With all of my being, I craved an escape.
At that moment, a sign of the light arose. Unexpectedly, a gift from some unknown source emerged in the nothingness: a black door wavering far in the distance. Elated with newfound relief, I walked toward it. Finally, it looked as if there were an escape, an end to this seemingly endless anguish. Except, the more I progressed, the farther away it appeared to be. Releasing a cry of panic, I started running, faster and faster. The distance of the door taunted me as my sole means to escape faded into the emptiness. With jarring movements, I began to walk backward, hoping the door would resurface. This time, it did not travel farther away but rather, stayed at the same distance. An inescapable sense of confusion and devastation clenched my being. I should have woken up by now. Instead, I just stood there, staring. Staring into the empty space that suffocated me. As tears streamed down my cheeks, I realized the exasperating truth. I was never going to reach that door. It was gone. I was gone.